RealTalkAJ

That’s a mouthful for a title but take the time to really understand it if possible.

Call it a moment of being real if need be but hopefully I don’t feel compelled to do this again— What if I’m called old before I’m ready to accept it?

That’s scary to me on two levels:

1. It’s a public perception thing where it feels scary to portray an image that’s clear as day to others that I’m old
2. Even scarier is that I won’t know when I really am to be considered old

It’s not knowing when it’s your time but at the same time not wanting someone else to ‘clock it’ for you.

In reflection it’s really a perfectly normal feeling to have.

Everybody wants to be and feel young.

There’s not many people that absolutely look forward to getting old.

It’s ironic because when we’re super young we have an ideal age in our mind where we want to jump to for various reasons:

Maybe it’s to drive, travel, party, independence; whatever.

We all wanna reach a certain level and then have everything be at a still when we reach it.

This doesn’t feel right admitting this but there’s an obligation that I feel I have to provide some transparency.

And that’s regardless on if I feel what I’m admitting is painfully obvious to me or not.

The problem that I’m sure this topic deals with in general is being hopeful.

Myself and everyone else included that deals with this feeling just wants assurance.

We need to feel good about what comes with getting older.

That can be a scary reality for most that came from the hood or any area of poverty.

We might’ve experienced losses at an early age and people that we looked up to as elders continually experience tough times in the backend of their life.

That’s where I think we have these moments cross our mind.